Lately there has been a lot of this happening

Seriously...on a Monday!
Originally uploaded by weezienyc

I've been back in NYC for two weeks and it has been nothing but fun times. There's been lots going on and the weather has been generous. Here's the hotlist:

Highlights
Good things are happening with my new company, meeting new people and spending lots of time with little cuz, PS 1, Trout, Georgia's Eastside BBQ, fun dinner parties, new shoes, Whiskey Town (new awesome bar opened nine seconds from my apartment) AND I've developed a mega crush on a very cute boy.

Lowlights
Aunt Mary left town for a month and my crush has yet to fall in love with me.

Spotlight
Bastille Day!!!! It was the most fun. Although surviving the Monday after was horrible. Here are the pictures:

• mine
• colonel cargill's
• lil cuz
  

What I'm listening to
I'm still listening to the Spoon album, am trying to warm up to the Wilco album still, and have been giving the Elliott Smith "New Moon" Album some serious playtime.

Is it my destiny?

Is it my destiny?
Originally uploaded by weezienyc

Enough Said

Magnolia Bakery - tasty - maybe, clean - not so much

I know I'm late to the game on commenting on this but Magnolia was shut down last Wednesday for health violations - the main one being they were missing a sink. The article I read (check it here) gives the details of the other violations as well. If I were Magnolia, the health department, or a potential customer, I'd be more concerned about the rat droppings and fruit flies found near the trash than the missing sink in the icing area.

Regardless it makes me laugh because I think my cupcakes are better because my cakes don't taste like cornbread and I serve them on a tree!

Cupcakes!
Originally uploaded by weezienyc

New iPod

Don't Steal Music
Originally uploaded by weezienyc

I just purchased my 11th ipod. For reals, I’ve gone through 10 ipods.
1. 1st generation.
2. Traded up for 2nd generation.
3. Traded up for 3rd generation. Had him for a good while, but dropped him on the ground - broke city.
4 - 9. Bought the Video ipod, ruined it by erasing the hard drive with the hardware on my handbag. Blamed it on iTunes and Windows not playing nice.

After four more iPods realized my pretty Marc Jacobs bag was destroying them. Had Video iPod #5 for a while until I left it on a plane.
10. Bought another one and kept it until it was stolen three weeks ago in San Francisco.

I also have a shuffle and thought I could just use that little guy for a while. I was wrong. I caved. I had to buy another one. Today. The bonus (if there has to be one) is I got out of the Apple Store without buying an iPhone too.

What up? I'm back

Ok. You know when I said I’d by updating my blog more since I wasn’t working? Well, I lied. Honestly, I’ve had plenty to post about, but haven’t spent enough time at the computer share it all.

In the past 10 weeks, I’ve been to Columbia, Sarasota, Orlando, Nashville, Raleigh, White Lake (NC), LA, Chatanooga, Atlanta, Austin, and San Francisco. I’ve also been to Brooklyn more times in the past 10 weeks than I’ve been in my lifetime.

I’ve been vacationing, working on my cookbook and trying to raise capital for our new company. It’s been fun, yet exhausting and I’m sooooo thankful to be back in NYC. With that, I’ll leave you with a 10 week Hot List.

Highlights
No job, good dates, trips to visit friends, Den’s fun bday, so much fantastic music released, beach vacays, family vacays, coming back to NYC

Lowlights
One REALLY bad date, getting my stuff stolen in SF (totally awful)

Spotlight
The Bright Eyes show was probably the best I’ve seen in years. Mr. BE was great – he could’ve used a haircut, but he is still so damn purty! My love for MR. BE aside, it was a spectacular show. Gillian Welch was awesome. And Britt Daniel was hot and perfect and also awesome. And I was so close to the stage I could barely believe it. I was like a kid in a candy store…it was a perfect ending to what so far has been the best week of 2007.

What I’m listening to
The new Spoon album…all day long.

My first vacation with babies

I just got back from a five day beach trip with my high school friends. Of the six of us, I am the only single one. One of them is trying to get pregnant, two of them are pregnant, and three of them have babies. Only two babies made the trip this time and while they are two of the most adorable babies I've ever seen, I'm not so sure I want one of my own for at least 30 years.

Here's why:






Why you should use protection... from Weezie McS on Vimeo



I do have to admit that even though my friends are moms (or soon-to-be moms), they haven't changed all that much...especially JSM. She still drinks beers, acts silly with me, and does/says the funniest things. For instance, we were all treking back from a mid-day walk with the two big-ass strollers in tow, when some red trash dude in a low-riding truck peels around the corner on which we were standing. So JSM yells at the top of her lungs, "These are babies, YOU FUCKER!" I think we all almost tinkled in our pants.

Overheard in Watercolor

Shaheen is always laughing
Originally uploaded by weezienyc.

Shaheen is always laughing......but at exactly what is she laughing? Probably at one of the many hilarious things said over the course of the weekend.

Unfortunately, here are the only ones I could remember and/or wrote down:

At the dinner table (where no pickles were present)
CF: Would you rather have a bad kisser or a bad pickle? (and she really meant pickle - like dill or whatever.)

At the pool
ZK: I totally want to destroy this guy's raft.
CF: And by "this guy" you mean that four year old?

About inside jokes
ML: Shares an inside joke
CF: Now that's an inside joke you can get
SS: Seriously, it's the worst when you tell an inside joke and no one gets it. Then you have to tell the whole back story and, still, no one thinks it is funny.
CF: Yeah, like you tell it all and there is nothing but a cricket riding by on a tumbleweed playing a harmonica.

Getting fired
CF: The first time I got fired was from volunteer work...showing cows at the state fair.

Sitting in the living room (my fave)
ZK: (eating ruffles chip) Man, these chips are so fresh.
ML: (trying a chip) They are fresh.
ZK: I mean these are the freshest chips.
ML: These chips are so fresh the have a born on date in the future.

Last Day

job
Originally uploaded by weezienyc.

Today is my last day at Pokemon. I couldn't be more excited and ready for my summer of travel and leisure, as well as the new gig that kicks off this fall.

Since I'm a fan of lists, I made a list of the things I wouldn't miss (read: glad to get rid of) and the things I would about working here.

Check it.

Things I won't miss:
- The barber shop flyer man that steps in front of me every morning to give me a flyer I don't want
- The crowds in Times Square
- Having to take the stinky F train every morning
- Executive Managers meetings
- Stupid people and their stupid business decisions
- Sorregana
- HBX Report Builder Templates
- Pokedolls
- Angry Parents
- Fulfillment Centers
- Language Barriers
- Video Game Police
- Dealing with so much unnecessary bullshit

Things I will miss:
- Diane
- Lawrence
- My Team

Watercolor

line
Originally uploaded by shactheattack.

This past weekend I went to the beach in Florida with some friends. Court’s parents have this new house (totally rad – btw) in Watercolor…a private community next to Seaside (where the Truman show was filmed). It was a super weekend. I’d forgotten how relaxing it can be spending the weekend with people you love (that aren’t related to you…well - except cuz, of course) We sunned, played, drove around on our rental bikes (which I LOVED!) and ate and drank until our little hearts were content.

Here are the pics:

• Me
• Shac
• ML
• Cuz
• Zach

The last time I remember eating and drinking that much was two years ago in California with JSM. She was living in LA and I was headed to the Pokemon World Champion Trading Card Tournament. So I flew into LA and made her go to San Diego with me for the Nerd Prom 05. The tournament, as you can imagine, was totally boring. The only think mildly exciting was talking to William Hung (yes, he was in the tournament) and acting like we were fans. But when we weren’t interviewing dweebs for new product ideas, we were eating and/or drinking. We consumed so much that we began keeping a food diary, which I found yesterday while cleaning my office. Here is what it said:

Thursday
Lunch: Pistachios and beer (like two 12 packs)
Dinner: Pasta (JSM) and chicken (me) and pocketfuls of M&Ms

Friday
Breakfast: Cheese and meat omelettes, bagels and toast, coffee, hashbrowns, candy
Snacks: Caramel corn, fire cheetos
Lunch: McDonald’s nuggets, fries, and sodas
Dinner: Beer, margaritas, chips, salsa, guac, AND combo Mexican platters
Dessert: Ghiradelli’s cookie sundae and wine at the hotel bar

Saturday
Breakfast: Diet cokes and caramel corn
Lunch: Bloody Mary’s, Seafood Salads, Calamari
Snack: More Ghiradelli sundaes (I remember we got out of bed from a nap, went to get them to-go and brought them back to the room and continued watching Dirty Dancing and napping)
Dinner: Pre-dinner cocktails, three apps, bread, butter, a bottle of napa wine, steak, scallops, and fish. We had dessert and I think I remember it was crème brulee. We ate with a co-worker who said, "i've never seen two girls eat and drink this much" as he picked up the tab!
Post Dinner: another bottle of wine and 5,000 cocktails. That was before they closed the bar downstairs and we went up to clean out the mini-bar in my room and created our own party with these new friends we met.

Sunday
Lunch: Hooters wings and fries served by the World’s Dumbest Hooters Waitress (that is saying a lot)
Dinner: Pizza

I am grossed out. Totally.

Me - on the way to vacay

Me - on the way to vacay
Originally uploaded by weezienyc.

First Beach Trip 2007

I'm on vacation with my friends. We’ve been so excited about this trip since we booked it months ago. I find it funny that people who live in New York do so because “they can’t imagine living anywhere else” yet they always seem to be dying to get out of the city. I am one of those people today. I just got back from the Bay Area last Sunday and I’d been dying to leave again ever since. But I think I am more excited to hang at the beach with my friends than anxious to leave New York.

Anyway, I almost didn’t make it on the trip. Our flight was at 6 AM. ML was going to meet me at my place so he and I could take the same car, which I scheduled to pick us up at 4:30. The plan was set! Yay! – except for the fact I woke up at 4:47…with 10 missed calls on my phone. I was like a crazy woman – running around my apartment, grabbing things and throwing them in the suitcase.

I was out the door and hailing a cab at 5:06 and, finally, after three cabs refused to take me to the airport, I was in Omar’s cab at 5:13 on the way to JFK. I travel a lot, so I know that it takes at least 30 minutes to get there from my apartment. I also know that the flight closes 10 minutes before departure and that I didn’t have any cash with me. So essentially, Omar and I were both screwed. I was certain I was going to miss my flight. So certain that I’d already made a plan as to how I was going to somehow make the Crown Room feel like a beach while I sipped “mile-high” mojitos all day waiting to be re-booked.

But, alas, Omar came through in the clutch and got me to the airport in 17 minutes. SEVENTEEN MINUTES!!! I have no idea how this even happened as I was too busy working on my “Crown Room” beach plan to pay attention. And when I explained my cash situaion, he even agreed to let me send him the money…gave me his address and everything. I gave him a credit card – yeah, I obviously have no fear of identity theft – and told him that he could trust me, but just so he knew I was serious, if he doesn’t get anything from me in a week, he can use it. (it has a low limit and I never use it and I know it was a stupid idea, but my brain wasn’t on yet…remember I hadn’t even been up for an hour.) I threw his address in my bag and ran into the airport – with 20 minutes to get through security and to the gate to board.

I’m a professional traveler. So I pack just like the TSA tells me to and can usually fly through security. But it was today that the TSA dude needed to check my bag. I couldn’t imagine the reason – it was the small one that I always travel with, containing my laptop, little travel pillow, about 47 magazines, 5 charges, my DS Lite, and, oh yeah, a plastic bag of grits. Yup! He thought the grits might be drugs.

It was a pretty funny conversation, once I told him what they were. It went something like this:

Mr. TSA: You travel with grits? Now that’s a first.
Me: Not usually, but I’m writing a cookbook on Grits and I’m going to the beach (in…er… like 2 minutes) and I wanted to make them tonight for dinner.
Mr. TSA: What kinda grits are those?
Me: Yellow stone-ground.
Mr. TSA: Them ain’t real grits. Real grits come in a blue box.
Me: Those are instant, these take an hour to cook (why am I even having this conversation?).
Mr. TSA: I should make you some real grits. You want some real grits?
Me: (no – I want to get on my plane) Sure.
Mr. TSA: (walks over to counter, writes something down and comes back to hand it to me) Alright, well you call me when you’re back and I’ll make you some grits.

I think Mr. TSA was hitting on me – maybe I’ll invite him and Omar over for a fantastic grits dinner.

DOMYSTUFF.COM

Homepage flash banner reads:

"Outsource your: Research, Moving, Chores, Reservations...Life"

This is brilliant. It is basically a site for busy (or lazy) people to have other people bid on tasks that they want done. I signed up just to check it out and some of the tasks I’ve seen so far are:

Healthy Cooking: “The task is cooking for two people. We have a large kitchen with all necessary implements except for a dishwasher. The diet is basically defined as "healthy." We can talk specific recipes with someone interested. The location is corner of Grand and Forsyth in Manhattan. Less than a block from B/D trains. You would be responsible for groceries and receipts. Obviously, we reimburse you.”
Find my adopted brother: “My Mother had a child 5 years before I was born w/ someone other than my father. All I know is that he was born in December of 1979, and his name was Randall William Card, but I don't know if he was put up for adoption, and what his name was changed to if he was adopted.”
Dog Retail Store List: “I am about to launch a fun dog community website for dog lovers. I am seeking someone that can gather a list of all the dog retail stores in the 50 states. I need the list to be sorted to each state and into two categories: upscale and regular.”
Find a place that sells ketchup chips: “If you can find out where I can buy Ketchup Chips within a 30 minute drive of 94043, I'll pay you $10. I'll pay you after I have eaten the delicious Canadian chips. I'm only interested in Lay's or Old Dutch ketchup chips, like these:
http://www.taquitos.net/snacks.php?snack_code=369
http://www.taquitos.net/snacks.php?snack_code=1454”


These are the tasks I would have people do for me:

Buy stamps: My rent is almost always late. Why? Because I HATE to buy stamps. And when I buy them, I lose them. Which means I have to buy them again, which I hate doing.
Organize my storage unit: My storage unit is a mess to say the least. I hate going to the storage unit (which is only two blocks away from my apartment) and I hate it even more now that it is such a disaster. After carefully packing my winter coats in proper hanging bags for storage, I ended up cramming them into the unit and quickly slamming the door because I didn’t have the patience/interest to move things around to make room for them on the hanging rack.
Repairs: I need someone to send my watch back to Marc Jacobs so he can personally fix the leather that ripped. And my suitcase has been sitting in the corner of my room for four months since Delta tore off three of the four wheels. So I need someone to take it to the Samsonite repair location. But before it can be dropped off, I also need someone to call the repair shop and ask them what type of documentation one needs before dropping an item off for repair.
Apartment Decor: I need someone to hang the antique mirror I’ve had for 10 years and never hung. But before they can do that, they need to help me decide where to hang it. I can’t make that decision without determining what piece of furniture I want to go on the same wall where I want it to hang. I also need someone to wait at home for my new bed to be delivered because none of the available times work for me.
Laundry: I don’t need anyone to do my laundry. But after I wash my clothes and put them in the dryer, I have a horrible habit of letting them sit there…in the basement of my building…sometimes for up to three days. Likewise, I have no problem dropping my clothes off at the dry cleaner, but am so bad about actually picking them up…I’m expecting to see one of the homeless people sporting my ski jacket around the hood.
Anti-stalking measurements: I really need someone to call t-mobile and have a few phone numbers blocked. And then plan a fake going away party so my ex thinks I’ve already moved to San Fran.

Weezie is back in 07

OK – so it has been almost 8 months since my last post. Needless to say, I’ve been swamped with work and travel and work. But now I am back above water and only have 12 more work days left until I am free for two and a half months of summer fun.

This is the big news. I quit my job and am not starting my new gig until the fall. So this leaves me with two and a half months of doing whatever I want (except the occasional trips to the bay area for VC meetings for the new gig).

So look forward to regular posts documenting the trouble I’m bound to find with such a large amount of free time on my hands. In the meantime, here is the Hotlist from the past 8 months!

Highlights
Turning 30 – really fun party with my really great friends, Sundance – 11 days in Park City spent eating, drinking, skiing, and oh yeah – watching movies, a trip to Palm Desert with 80 degree weather while it was snowing in NYC, another trip to Utah for the last bit of snow, quitting my job, BP moving back to NYC, ending my six month travel stint.

Lowlights
Six months of constant traveling, working through the most painful of holiday seasons, Rockelle moving to SF. (short list of lowlights = very good thing)

Spotlight
Catching SNL a few weeks back with Lil’ Cuz, Court, and Chelsa! It was awesome.

Awesome!
Originally uploaded by weezienyc.

Crazy Work Story
There has been so much crazy stuff going around at work that I don’t even know where to begin. And since I’m not going to be working, I’m dropping this section off the hotlist.

What I’m listening to
The question really is, what am I not listening to? There is so much great music on my iPod right now that I’m having a really hard time deciding what to listen to. But if I had to guess, I’d say that the new Bright Eyes Album, Cassadaga, is getting a lot of attention because it just came out. But the Cold War Kids and Snow Patrol Albums are getting their fair share of play time. Ohh – and The Shins latest album, Wincing the Night Away, is totally awesome.

What I've been up to lately...

Me waiting to Park the Boat
Originally uploaded by weezienyc.

Since I left NYC, I've been doing nothing but sunning, skiing, eating, sleeping, hanging out and reading. It's been awesome. The weather has been great AND I've been able to relax for the first time in over a year.

I've been doing a little work here and there on the business plan for my new venture, but other than that I've just been reading books and magazines. Right now I'm reading "Magical Thinking" and it is one of the best books I've read in the past year...although I've mostly been reading either spiritual or business books (totally polarized reading selection, i know) so there isn't a lot to which I can compare. Regardless, I love reading a book that makes me laugh out loud. The best thing about this book is that the stories are not only funny, but true. Thank you, Augusten, for not only making me laugh, but for reminding me that I'm not the only one with a totally nutso family and a crazy life.

Hey Duder, Want a Tooter?

Tooters
Originally uploaded by weezienyc.

LAG and I went to the liquor store for some supplies to make adult beverages for a party I was throwing for my best friend's wedding. I was delighted that I could buy good wine at really decent prices, as well as stock up on Tooters - a pre-made test tube shooter - in bulk.

Tooters themselves are pretty gross, but they remind me of this bar in Macon that thinks it is an upscale joint because it has white trash wait staff walking around with Tooters for sale...which is how the phrase "hey Duder, want a tooter?" came to be...you totally had to be there.

ps - thanks to LAG for taking the shot with her high-tech camera phone ;-)

Chick-fil-A Chicken Biscuit

Chick-fil-A Chicken Biscuit
Originally uploaded by weezienyc.

This is one reason why I may never make it back to New York!

I AM alive!!!

It’s been two months since my last post and so much has changed in my life. When I’m not updating my blog, it usually means it’s because there is something going on in my work or personal life that is sucking up most of my time and energy. Unfortunately, that has been the case for the past two months. The only good thing about not posting is that I’m always amazed at how many messages I get (most of them from complete strangers) checking in on me wondering when I’ll post my next entry. So at least I know that while I’m sorting out the crap in my life there are people that are still waiting to hear what’s going on when I’ve finally come back up for air.

Well, here I am…coming back up for air. And things are good. I’m actually looking forward to things being great, but I’ll take good for now. In a few days I’ll be leaving New York for a little while in an effort to really get myself back to a place where I can make good decisions about my future. I’ve spent the last year making decisions that were best for me short term, but not necessarily in my best interest long term. So, hopefully I’ll have some great news and huge changes to share when I return later in September.

When it’s been a while since I’ve posted, it’s usually easiest for me to catch everyone up with the Hotlist. But I have to admit I don’t have that much to report. There are some Highlights, like an impromptu trip to Disneyland (see photos) while working in California and a crazy fun work party that turned into one of the best evenings I’ve had in a while. My friends and I turned the cocktail party into a super dance party within an hour...check out this photo of the five hottest dancers on the floor.


best floor photo ever!
Originally uploaded by dpstyles.


I just got back from Boston, which is always a highlight for me for two reasons. One being I have a great group of friends there, which includes one of my dearest friends in the world. Second being I am totally in love with Boston. I’ve never lived there, although I’ve always wanted to, but even still, it seriously feels like home to me. It seems strange to feel connected to a city, but I feel 100 percent at home there…a feeling I haven’t felt about a city since I left Athens 8 years ago.

As for work, things are going really well. I’m done with the crazy work travel for a while and sales are going through the roof. This month alone we’ve produced more revenue than we did in all of Q3 last year. This is another thing to add to the highlights lists as it gives me some breathing room and some time to leave town for a while to figure out my life.

I haven’t been listening to any new music lately and must admit that I’m stuck in a rut. Although a friend gave me the new Keane album a few months ago and it has been getting a lot of play time at home. I’ve been using the shuffle mode on my iPod to let the device determine what I should listen to which is a great thing when you can’t make up your mind as to what you want to listed to.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got for now. I’ll try to keep things updated while I’m away fixing myself so I’m not stuck in a situation where I’m trying to catch up on two months in one post.

Sidekick III

Sidekick III
Originally uploaded by weezienyc.

I just got it today! It actually hits the street July 10th, but two T-mobile stores are selling it to existing customers early and one of them happens to be in NYC. So far I've not been able to do more than watch it charge. Therefore I can't say if I'm 100% in love with it or not. But, off the bat there are some pros and cons

PROS
1. bluetooth enabled (bought that too...a pink one)
2. much better camera
3. added music library
4. ms pacman ringtones
5. lighter & thinner
6. removable battery


CONS
1. lost all voicemails and text messages when I swapped the SIM card (probably for the best that some of those messages are gone)
2. my downloads didn't transfer to the device which means i have to re-install EVERYTHING over again...even the stuff I paid for.

I'll have more to discuss tomorrow or later on...along with that adult camp update.

LATER ON...

After spending some time with my newest toy, I've decided I'm only slightly impressed. The thinner, lightness factor of the new design is super important for fitting into small handbags. But it hardly makes up for the wow factor that is 100% lacking.

Number One Complaint = Not only did I lose all of the ringtones and games when I made the switch, most of the super cool ones aren't available. Plus, all of the free ringtones that were halfway decent in the last version are now only available for purchase, leaving me with about 17 crappy sound FX for free...makes me feel like i downgraded versus upgraded.

Hot List - Week of June 19

It was a pretty low-key week...not much trouble to get into, but here goes:

Highlights:
Coming home from Saturday night when the sun was just starting to rise, SRJ’s graceful fall down the stairs at some club in W. Village, eating at SALT – one of my favorite NYC dinner spots, reliving Adult Camp (swear I’ll update tomorrow) through everyone’s flickr pages.

Lowlights:
Realizing how white my legs really are after seeing Flying Oak’s flickr sets. Ouch…if it doesn’t stop raining in the city, I may have to hit the tanning bed…I'd rather run the risk of getting skin cancer than carrying the guilt of blinding innocent New Yorkers who may not be wearing sun glasses when I’m wearing a skirt.

Spotlight:
DENS’s birthday party was the spotlight of the week…not because it was THAT much fun. I mean it was REALLY fun, but I really enjoyed watching DENS bounce around from girl to girl. Who knew DENS had such a way with the ladies? I’d say 80% of the attendees were girls and 80% of the girls in attendance were not in our circle of friends. In fact, I haven’t seen most of them before (not that I know everyone in his life). I’m not saying he’s been “friendly” with all of the girls I don’t know, but I did find it funny that EVERY SINGLE girl I met immediately asked me in that weird (have you hooked up with him) tone, “so how do YOU know DENS?” They dropped the icy tone when I answered, “he’s just a dude in my circle of friends.” I finally caught on that most of them were digging to see if I “KNEW” knew him. So, I started making things up when I was asked…and I was asked the same question in the same tone every time I met someone knew.

Crazy Work Story:
There isn’t anything crazy to speak of at the moment. The New Girl has been working for me for a month now and we are both super busy…which scares me because I used to be doing both of our jobs. No wonder I was working 15 hrs a day.

What I’m listening to:
The Futureheads new album. I tried to fall in love with newest by The Flaming Lips - not happening and I'm sorely disappointed.

This is my meanest face...

Originally uploaded by SixFive.

...and me without make-up...scary, i know!

So, i don't remember this, but it seems like I'm really mad at Grellan. He is holding my water but I don't think that would justify me giving him the meanest look ever!

Ok - I know I promised an Adult Camp update...next week for sure.

ps - i think this photo was taken between 3:00 & 4:00 AM. not an excuse for how gross i look, but I felt the need to clarify.

Sarah-gives-Grellen-a-talki

Sarah-gives-Grellen-a-talki
Originally uploaded by Moto Pony.

I pulled this from Su's flickr page. It looks like Grellan and I are having a super serious conversation. But serious conversations don't happen at Adult Camp...or between me and Grellan...ever!

By the Way - the Adult Camp update is coming tomorrow...I promise!

Where are they now?

A conversation with CAS at dinner last night led us down a path where no one should go. It all started with CAS complaining about her dating life. She looked at me and said, "I think I peaked too soon. I'm like the middle child from Full House that was really cute for awhile, but now she's a meth addict with nothing left but Christmas Cards from Bob Saget and Dave Coulier. John Stamos doesn't even write anymore.”

This cracked us both up and led us to ponder what Jodie Sweetin’s (aka Stephanie) latest diary entry might look like. Here is what I can remember from our conversation:

Dear Diary,

It’s been so long since I’ve written, but I haven’t had the time to write. No, I haven’t been working...I can’t even find work. Between the Weight Watchers and the NA meetings, I can’t find the time to even meet with my agent about work. Oh wait, my agent dumped me years ago. I just don’t get it. Everyone else is successful. I mean Candace has a beautiful family and seems happy when I see her pictures in People. I’m sure it has something to do with Kirk finding Jesus and all of the blessings he’s now reaping are spilling over to her. And the Olsen twins…of course they’re successful. There are two of them AND they’re skinny. I’m just so depressed I can barely get up in the mornings. The only light in my life is seeing Andrea Barber (aka Kimmy Gibbler) in the unemployment line.

Love,
Jodie

By the way, it should be noted that I hate Full House. I've always said my own personal hell would be a place where only Full House played 24/7 on the TV, the Goo Goo Dolls were the only band on the radio, and there were no shoes, iPods, or Internet access.

Meet my new babies...

Kewana &
Lily

Aren't they beautiful and perfect and sweet? I picked them up yesterday at the Rafe sample sale. So, not only do i now own two of the most delightful handbags in the city, I only paid $275 for both of them.

Today is one of those days when I really love the perks that come with living in New York! It made me forget about the fact that just this morning I'd decided that New York might be a bad influence on me...seeming as I called someone a jack-ass before 8:00 AM and got into a shoving match with a short girl who pushed me while getting on the F Train. I guess the perks of living here outweigh the city's ability to slowly suck away my southern charm.

Rockelle

rachel_sarah
Originally uploaded by sarahmcsimmons.

It's rare that you meet someone and become instant friends...but it happened to me while I was away...twice in one day. This is Rockelle. We met April 26th in a boring roundtable discussion at a conference, on April 27th we became best of friends, on April 28th we hung out all day and found ourselves asking how we'd survived so long without each other. She's one of the main reasons why summer in the city has been way too much fun thus far and has agreed to be my partner in crime for troublemaking. I've been needing a good partner in crime, so it all works out perfectly...except for one fatal flaw.

Flaw = Rockelle is convinced that she's moving to San Fran this fall. Now San Fran is great - one of my favorite cities. But it is missing one important thing - yours truly. So, I'm going to need a plan for keeping her here. She seems pretty serious about moving and since I'm serious about keeping her here, I'm going to need some help. I need to find her a man and a job in NYC and she'll be sure to stick around. She prefers tall, dark, good looking men and is interested in Internet Marketing positions. If anyone knows about the availability of either, shoot me a message at weeziespeaksout@gmail.com.

Thanks in advance!

Weezie is back

I honestly can’t believe March was the last time I posted. Things have been nuts over the last few months and I’ve been dying to write, but I couldn’t find the time or the energy. Life has definitely kept me on my toes. So, with that being said, I’ll recap April, May, and June (so far) with the Hot-List. Please note items marked with * need (and will receive) further explanation. Here you go:

Highlights:
Rockelle*, finding my doppleganger*, The New Girl*, super fun weddings, my new shoes, Adult Camp*, summer in NYC, Mack* – the new puppy, my sister getting engaged, having the best friends ever.

Lowlights:
Either/Or taking permanent residence on the “On Notice” list, work stress, the deaths of my dog, a dear friend I just saw and an old friend with whom I’d lost contact, too much traveling*, not having balance*

Spotlight:
My debut karaoke performance of Gold-Digger after LAG’s wedding…it was amazing and caught on video!!!*

Crazy work story:
I guess the craziest thing that has happened at work is that I got in trouble for not spending enough time playing video games. I’m serious…I’ve got an email to prove it, but it is too ridic to even explain.

What I’m listening to:
Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins

Hot List - catching up

It has been way too long since Weezie last spoke, but (as usual) I've been crazy busy at work and traveling and trying to be a NYC social star. I haven't had a night without evening plans since February 22nd and am in the same situation for the next two weeks. Then I'm putting a halt to this madness and making sure that I allow myself some downtime to a) rest, b) update my blog, c) rest some more to avoid explosion. Anyway, back to the topic at hand - here's what you missed in the past month.

Highlights:
No Data Dance Party, sunning in Miami (more on this later), catching up with friends in Atlanta, the Strokes, Belle & Sebastian, and many late nights out on the town.

Lowlights:
NYC Winters, getting the shaft at The Daily Show (more on this later), spraining my back (more on this later), and Either/Or - who has officially been put "ON NOTICE."

Spotlight:
Celebrity Spotting of the Year = Prince at Mansion in South Beach - btw, how did I not know he was 4 feet tall and no more than 90 pounds???

Crazy work story:
Check this out - http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=111108 - a bunch of nerd prom kings and queens are all up in arms because we MIGHT be changing the voice talent on the cartoon.

What I’m listening to:
I’m still hooked on the Bright Eyes album, but the Coldplay X&Y album has spent its fair amount of time in the rotation.

So, there you have it. Not really as exciting as I'd hoped. But, I've this is just a list and I've left the best stories untold. I'll get to it this week...hopefully.

Clothing Crisis

It’s Friday. I’ve been at work since 9:00. Everything I’m working on right now is at a stand still because I’m waiting on someone else to do their part so I can finish. I’m bored and all I can think about is what on earth I’m going to wear tonight. I’ve got a date with a boy that is in mid-transition from “just a friend” to “possibly more than friend” status. This kid has seen me in a bathing suit (gross! but points for him for wanting to take me out anyway), but you always want to look your best for the first official mid-transition date, right? Here is the challenge I'm facing.

Two of my favorite (read “sexy and comfortable”) pairs of shoes are being re-soled right now and won’t be ready until tomorrow and I think tonight’s main activity will include a lot of standing. Thus, I’m left with the “sexy heels or comfortable flats” decision. It is really cold outside and everyone knows that layers are very unattractive, but I really don’t want to freeze because I’m trying not to look like a stay-puff marshmallow. Someone scheduled a late afternoon meeting (6:00 on a FRIDAY!!!!!) which I have to attend. This sucks because obviously no one wants to meet that late on a Friday. But more importantly, I really need to have my eyebrows done, as I just realized I’m starting to look a little bit like Oscar the Grouch. Finally, I hate everything in my closet. There are items from which I've yet to remove the tags that I’m sick of because I’m just tired of looking at them. So all I can do now is sit and wait for the 6:00 meeting and think about how I’m going to solve these problems before 8:00 this evening.

The only good thing I've got going for me right now is my hair looks really good today.

It's been a few weeks but...

I haven’t written in a while because I’ve been swamped at work and my social calendar has been booked. I’m glad it is Friday. It’s been a hell of a week. I haven’t eaten a real meal since Wednesday and I’m so hung over from last night’s social outing that I can barely hold up my own head. I don’t know who thought it was a good idea to stay out past 3 AM on a school night. But, somewhere between work and home yesterday, I signed up for a big night out on the town. Anyway, here’s the latest HOT LIST.

Highlights:
25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, getting new curtains in my bedroom, and all of the things “Either/Or” said or did that made me laugh

Lowlights:
My dad had surgery, my nana broke her leg, and all of the things that “Either/Or” said or did that made me cry

Spotlight:
Starring as guest DJ at Epsteins last night – in other words, I made a great play-list on my iPod, we shut the jukebox off, and listened to my music all night. I really felt like I owned the place. I’ve been told that I actually went behind the bar and made myself a drink at one point. Being cute and fearless has its privileges.

Crazy work story:
This isn’t really crazy, but we got a sneak peak at the new products for 2007 at Toy Fair last week. Attention Kids: don’t get your hopes up – there’s nothing coming worth getting excited about.

What I’m listening to:
I’m constantly playing either the Death Cab or the Bright Eyes albums with a short break for Gold Digger every once in a while.

randomness...

...is how I would describe my day so far. I can’t seem to concentrate at all and have no drive to get any work done. So, to be consistent with the day, I’ll just rattle off the randomness that is running around in my brain.

- Pink is the new Blog (http://trent.blogspot.com/) has some great material. It is a super way to waste time at work.
- Tina Fey is writing a pilot for a new show starring…you guessed it – Tina Fey. Unfortunately, rumor has it Rachel Dratch will be in the cast for the pilot. Love Tina Fey! Rachel Dratch totally creeps me out.
- I officially have a crush on Kanye West.
- I am pleasantly surprised that I can make it to the Whole Foods at Columbus circle and back with lunch (to go) in 30 minutes.
- Reading about my friend dennis’s crazy life - http://www.teendrama.com/dens/index.php- can also help pass the time at work

That’s all I got. It is finally time to go home.

Hot List - week of Jan. 30

Last week was pretty dull - which I can attribute to a scaled back social calendar due to all of the new year's resolutioning (yes, I just made that word up.) So, the hot list is mildly warm at best.

Highlights:
The STEELERS winning the SuperBowl XL is a highlight that must stand alone.

Lowlights:
Hines Ward being named MVP and using incorrect grammar within two seconds of receiving the trophy, Bettis announcing his retirement (which we all knew was coming, but made me sad to hear out loud), and all of the ad dollars wasted on lame commercials.

Spotlight:
Getting into a verbal battle with some old, balding, overweight dude at the movies on Saturday night was the funniest thing that happened this week. I wrote it out exactly as it happened only to realize that you had to be there to appreciate it. Trust me - it was a classic.

Crazy work story:
Here is some work nonsense for you. I've been working (for weeks) on a long, detailed contract for a deal that needed to close last week. I finally got everything resolved between the vendor's legal department and our legal department. The one sticking point that took me forever (read: five hours) to resolve was the line in the contract that would force us to go to Minnesota if, for some reason (non-payment, breach of contract, etc.), we had to go to court. My legal counsel wasn't worried about all the reasons we could end up in court, she simply didn't want to go to Minnesota. I thought it was because the laws were different, there were jurisdiction issues, or she just wanted to play legal power struggle. Nope - she just thought Minnesota was a cold and awful place and if they had the nerve to sue us or, even worse, had the nerve to do something so horrible that we would sue them, the least they could do was go to court in California where the weather is nice and there are lots of good restaurants. I'm not even kidding. That was the reason she gave me. The contract isn't final yet because we haven't heard back from the vendor's lawyers. They are probably too exhausted from laughing at us.

What I’m listening to:
The new Belle and Sebastian album that was released today, but I got a digital copy when I pre-ordered it from Amazon. I haven't listened to it enough to give it a fair review. I'll let you know next week.

The Colbert Report

If SNL’s weekend update and Meet the Press got married and had a kid, it would come out as The Colbert Report. This is my new favorite show. High five to "Either/Or" for telling me about it. For The Daily Show fans out there, you all know Stephen Colbert. I’d seen him a few times when he was reporting for Jon Stewart and thought he was mildly funny. I was wrong – he is hilarious and I love his show. This man is a southerner (from Charleston – the greatest southern town EVER) and makes a living by making fun of democrats, republicans, and anyone who he finds irritating. Needless to say, he has my dream job.

When something or someone get under his skin, he puts them “on notice” and if they really make him mad then they are “dead to him.” Well, that’s really funny. So, I’ve stolen part of his concept. Isn’t imitation the best form of flattery? Anyway, since I can’t fathom someone making me so irate that they become dead to me, I’m going with the first half and from now on, I’m starting my own “on notice” list. Check it out to the right.

I can’t do the rest of it justice so I suggest you check it out for yourself. Start off with a sneak peak at http://www.colbertnation.com/colbertnatiownon/index.jhtml and then tune your DVR to Comedy Central at 11:30 P.M.

New Year's Resolutions

Everyone makes them and no one sticks to them.

I spent a lot of time working on my resolutions back in December. They included:
- Making time for myself
- Learning something new each month…january’s subject was Economics
- Reconnecting with an old friend each month
- Getting on (and sticking to) a workout schedule
- Not eating chicken fingers more than once a week
- Practicing the 7 habits…
- Becoming more fiscally responsible

It’s a good list, right? I was pretty excited about it. However when 2006 came along, I wasn’t ready to make the move to changing my entire life. So, instead of beating myself up about it, I developed a genius strategy. I’ve decided from here on out, all New Year’s resolutions will go into implementation with the Chinese New Year. That gives me time to detox from the holidays and adjust to January (which is the worst month) in NYC before I begin making big changes in my life. Since the Chinese New Year kicked off last weekend, I’m five days into the 2006 resolutions and I must say that I’m doing quite well…except the workout schedule makes me tired because I have to get up early and learning about Economics makes me feel stupid and reminds me of why I didn’t pay attention in class when I paid to take it. The rest of them are pretty easy to stick with…well, until I spot a super pair of shoes I can’t resist and then the fiscal responsibility resolution will fall by the wayside.

The Hot List

When I play catch up with most of my friends they are interested in three things – my social agenda (most of them are married which leaves them without one and therefore, are living vicariously through me), my latest crazy work story, and what music (new or old) I’m listening to. So, I’ve decided on a weekly basis, I’ll devote one post to these three topics – breezing through the social stuff with a list of highlights/lowlights and one spotlight on something fabulous, ridiculous, spectacular, and/or embarrassing that happened to me or someone I know…yes – this means if you spend any amount of time with me, there is a chance you’ll end up on my blog…although I’ll try my best to keep your identity anonymous.

So, in its first installment, here are the picks of last week:

Social Highlights:
“Business” trip to Atlanta that ended up being more drinking than business. Activities included cocktails at Turner field, drinks at my favorite bar, dinners at my favorite restaurants, a trip to the GA aquarium, listening to great music (more on that later), dancing (see lowlights), catching up with old friends, and laughing harder than I have in weeks.

Social Lowlights:
The lack of sleep acquired from Atlanta trip, getting stuck in verbal prison (more on that later) at the GA aquarium, dancing (realizing I have a serious control issue and am unable to let someone lead…I might have been more apt to let my dance partner lead had he not almost dropped me once), and having to speak in public in front of many people after three nights with no sleep and four nights of serious drinking.

Social Spotlight:
Alright, verbal prison is a term coined by M.D. Everyone has been there – stuck in a conversation with someone while you’re missing out on a great party with no escape in sight. This, my friend, has defined as “verbal prison.” At a party at the GA aquarium, I found myself repeatedly in verbal prison, which I turned into a fun game. Basically, each time I got trapped, I began making up a new story. It was much more fun than one would think. I was in sales for Google, the person who had developed eBay’s bid engine in my dorm room, a reporter for “Wired” magazine, and at least two more identities that I can’t remember. I know – I’m a total dork and this isn’t even a story worthy of the spotlight, but most of the ones that are can’t be repeated…so, at least you learned a new phrase.

Crazy work story:
This week the craziest story I’ve got involves a conversation with a customer and her 5 year old. It lasted 30 minutes longer than it should have. It is nice to know we still have fans out there that are crazy for Pokemon…or maybe they are just crazy. Speaking of crazy fans, the kid in the first link of my last post made it on VH1’s “Best Week Ever” that week. Sweet!


What I’m listening to:
Right now my favorite “real” albums are the Death Cab’s “Plans” and Rogue Wave’s “Descended Like Vultures.” Also getting a lot of play is my homemade, two-disc compilation, made for M.D. and inspired by the best New Year’s trip I can remember, titled “Late Night Indie favorites Disc One and Two” which we probably listened to 100 times last week and if I could take credit for the "Plans" album, I'd make it Disc Three and would be able to claim that I developed the best musical trilogy ever made!

It's that time...

At the beginning of every quarter there are two days in particular I dread. Dreadful Day One (DD1) is the day I have to review my division’s quarterly presentation with the EVP before our quarterly meeting. Dreadful Day Two (DD2) is the day of the meeting and I have to deliver the quarterly presentation to the company.

DD1 is the worst day because I get yelled at (read: berated, humiliated, reamed, threatened, and shamed…Japanese style) for missing my financial targets for the quarter. No matter what we do right, I always get hammered for missing the sales targets (which are unrealistic and were not set by me…or anyone who understands ecommerce) and I walk away feeling like a total failure…even though I know there is no way we could meet these goals on the budget I’ve been given. This quarter’s DD1 was yesterday and went surprisingly well (read: only slightly berated, humiliated, reamed, threatened, and shamed…Japanese style). Maybe it was because I came to the meeting prepared with an argument as to why we were meeting our goals. My number one reason focused on our lack of understanding of our target audience. I simply shared these two links (please copy and paste):

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1976314898516214440&q=pokemon

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7846903799728311485&q=pokemon with Mr. EVP and stated that “we (meaning me) can’t properly market to our target audience because these folks are just too weird for any of us (me) to understand them.” He laughed so hard, I think he forgot about the yelling part.

This quarter’s DD2 is today at 3:00. It isn’t as humiliating as DD1, mainly because no one else really cares and/or listens. It just stinks because it’s a really LONG meeting and the majority of it is super boring…my part in particular. I think I rank up there right behind accounting in terms of “most boring material.” Last quarter, I was lucky enough to go first when people can find it in them to act like they are paying attention. Accounting wasn’t so lucky. During their presentation, I counted five people sleeping – including the CEO who only awakened himself to stop his own head from hitting the conference room table. I’m not even kidding! It was classic. I’m hoping for something even more spectacular today. I’ll keep you posted.

Weekend Dilemma

It’s a good sign when my number one life decision at the moment concerns my weekend plans. I haven’t been in the city (without company or 25 things scheduled) since November – so the party ME wants to hit the town. And there are a bunch of fun things going on where I’d get to see some folks I haven’t hung out with in a while…like months. But, the other part of me is STILL tired from my debaucherous New Years trip and wants to be lazy and rest. The lazy ME wants to finish getting my apartment back into shape and try to see at least two (maybe three) of the movies on my “must see before the Oscars” list. There were 18 movies on the list and I’d planned to see at least ten of them while I was home for Thanksgiving and Christmas (just like I planned to update my blog), but I only managed to knock two off the list and one of them really sucked. So, this leaves me with 16 movies to see in two months – which could be feasible because New York is cold and gross in January and February and I’m not usually up for schlepping around in the cold/wet/snow wearing my good shoes.

I’m too hungry to think about it anymore. So, I’m off to grab lunch. Which leaves me with my number two life decision at the moment – what am I going to eat???

Congrats UT!

I can’t help but be a little melancholy today, since college football season officially ended last night. At least Texas won which will stop all that talk about Mack Brown not being able to win the big games that count. Now that conversation will more than likely involve Mark Richt…and I might have to jump in and agree. I was unfortunate enough to witness the Sugar Bowl debacle live on Monday night. It was disgusting. We were out-coached, out-played, out-cheered…WVU’s band was even better than ours.

Not only am I coping with this piece of reality, but I woke up after only three hours of sleep to a cold, rainy day. I still dread coming into work and can’t seem to get myself excited about my job. It doesn't help that the entire office is in chaos because we are moving into a new space across town tomorrow. Right now this move is a total pain in the neck. However, having just returned from the new space, I’m feeling less grouchy and sad because:
- my new office (with a door that shuts) is much bigger than I’d realized
- cute boys in black wearing secret service earpieces work in the lobby
- there is a salon and a starbucks in the new building
- we get to leave tomorrow at 2:00 so the movers can relocate our stuff
- the sun was shining when I walked back which always makes things better.

I need a vacation from my vacation.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Again…it’s been forever since I’ve posted anything to my blog. I’ve seriously been working non-stop since Thanksgiving. When I wasn’t working through the night, I was hosting or attending some sort of holiday celebration which generated some great material, yet left no time to actually document any of it. I thought for sure I’d make good use of my Christmas vacation to update you all on the past few months and yet I couldn’t even bring myself to turn on my laptop. Unfortunately, I’m back in the office for the first time in two weeks and, therefore, can no longer avoid the connection to that crazy thing we call the Internet. However, I’m still not in “working condition” which is obvious from:

• the lack of excitement, creativity, or (quite frankly) interest this post possesses. I, myself, am even bored by it.
• the fact that I’ve been here for six hours and have yet to bring myself to read more than 100 of my 786 emails or check any of my 19 voicemails…not even the three that are urgent.

I am certain after a few days of detox and a week of good sleep, I'll be back to normal with lots of stories to share.

Questions that need to be answered

1. Has anyone seen Reese Witherspoon's bangs lately? Whaaattttt????? My personal opinion = if the long, feathered bangs are a trend on the rebound, then I'm gonna have to settle for being out-of-style. I caught her on Ellen this week and I couldn't get over it. I can't even remember a word she said because I was too busy gawking at her hair.

2. Does anyone watch Ellen? That show is so freakin' funny. It doesn't matter who she has on the show (minus little miss feather bangs)...I am always entertained. I've been working through the night for two weeks, which has given me a chance to catch up on all everything in my DVR and the problem I've found is I can only watch so much Ellen in one sitting. So, I need some recommendations. If you were me, what would you record. So far, I'm catching:

The Ellen Show...obviously

The West Wing...should win "best writing" Emmy every year

Best Week Ever...duh

Two and a Half Men...tie for funniest show on TV

Arrested Development...other half of tie for funniest show on TV

The Apprentice...both Trump and Martha

Pokemon...obligation

The OC...guilty pleasure

3. Despite the above comment about her bangs, who wants to see Reese in Walk the Line this weekend?

It has been a long time (exactly two months)

Since my last post I’ve:

• been in Hawaii, LA (twice), San Diego, San Francisco, Phoenix, Salt Lake City, Dallas, Atlanta (twice), Columbia (SC), Chicago, Boston, and Macon (GA)
• only had 5 days off of work (including the weekends), but launched 12 of 15 “high priority” projects
• spent more time alone than I thought was humanly possible, realizing that although I missed my friends terribly – there is something rewarding about being comfortable spending time with yourself
• made good use of the phrase “I’ll cut you” until I actually cut myself and ended up with stitches and two weeks without the use of my left hand
• let go of a friendship that became a burden and ended a relationship that broke my heart
• cried and prayed and yelled and cursed more times than I can remember
• finished the short stories I’ve been working on for months two weeks before my computer had a meltdown that I'd been trying to have for weeks
• written all of my very personal hopes and thoughts and fears and concerns and prayers in a journal only to leave it in the front seat pocket of an airplane
• learned that at the end of the day - even if you have the best friends in the world - you can only truly count on yourself, God, and your mama…and most of the time that is all you need

Thanks for all of the notes and comments since I took my sabbatical. It is nice to know people actually read this thing. So, I’m back with a smile on my face and a lot to say about nothing.

P. Weezie

I'm sure everyone has seen/heard/read that P. Diddy is changing his name. Yup, for the 17th time, he wants to be called something different. At first, I thought it was lame, but then I remembered that I, myself, have about seven or eight nicknames and people in glass houses...blah, blah, blah. Anyway, I kind of liked the sound of P. Diddy. But, now he has dropped the "P" and he is just Diddy.

OK - Diddy, I'll take that "P" you just tossed away and put it to good use...from now on I'll be P. Weezie.

Vacation: Day Two, Day Three

The first two days of my vacation have flown by. In the past 48 hours, I’ve done nothing but eat, sun, and shop. The first day, we just hung out at the pool. I got my first real sun for the season and then we went shopping. My sister and I had a very late lunch (where I couldn’t enjoy a nice, tall Anchor Steam, my favorite beer, because I’d left my ID in our room. I wasn’t sure whether to be flattered or annoyed, but I was on vacation and was relaxed enough sans beer) and then spent the rest of the day shopping.

Having not adjusted to the time change, sister was ready for bed at 7:00, which left me the rest of the evening to read and do some writing. I finished a short story that I’ve been working on for seven months and tried to get past the point of no completion in the novel I’m certain I will never finish. Regardless, I had some time to get some writing done which is always a good thing.

The second day we went to the beach. I have to admit, I like staying in a place where someone carried your stuff to the beach and sets up your chair and umbrella. I read my book and napped until my sister got bored and insisted we get in the water. We rented boogie boards and tried to ride the waves, but the current was too strong to stay on. I decided to give it up when I ended up getting thrown onto the shore, face first with the world’s largest wedgie…good thing all of my falling down has kept me from being easily embarrassed.

Wedgie aside, nothing too exciting has happened since I’ve arrived. I am totally relaxed and have barely given all of the stress that as been wearing me down a second thought. It all seems to be so far away…I guess it takes four time zones and a large stretch of the pacific to get away from your troubles. Next year – I’ll go to Fiji!

Vacation Day One

I began my vacation today. I’ve been looking forward to it and dreading it all in the same breath for a number of weeks. I’ve been dreading it because I have too much work to do to leave town for a tropical island for a week…looking forward to it because if my brain doesn’t get a chance to relax, it may sprout legs and take off for good…which would leave me crazy or crazier than usual and we all know that isn’t a good thing.

So, I’m off in vacation. Just to make sure things would be “normal” upon my return, I left the city this morning with seven outstanding items on my professional “to do” list and two items on my personal “to figure out” list or better said, both situations with NB and Either/Or as complicated as possible. However, I’ve made an agreement with myself that I’ll try to think of all of these things as little as possible over the next nine days. So far, it’s going ok…although I’ve yet to leave the mainland US.

I managed to leave my apartment and NYC without any cab, train, or airport delays. The flight from NYC to Atlanta was quick and very easy thanks to my first class upgrade. I was totally bummed when I checked my itinerary yesterday to find that of the 12 hours of travel time I was facing today, I’d only gotten an upgrade for the first leg, all of two hours, from the city to Atlanta. But I took advantage of the upgrade regardless and in order to truly kick-off my vacation; I ordered my first cocktail at exactly one minute after noon on the first leg of the trip. Actually, we got into Atlanta early enough for me to grab Chick-Fil-A before the ridiculously long flight to Hawaii, with a short stop in San Fran. With an order of chicken nuggets in hand, I said a small prayer about safe flights and nice travel neighbors for the long ride in coach and boarded the plane.

After settling in my tiny aisle seat in an exit row (thank goodness), I decided this trip wouldn’t be anything I couldn’t bear even though this exit row seat was one of those tricky ones that don’t recline. Just when I’d gotten everything settled and was heading to the restroom for one last time before take off, a couple walked up and began their attempt to shove their carry-ons into the overhead bins. The lady was sitting in the window seat next to me. Her male companion, to whom I am now referring to as SANTA, was sitting in an aisle seat four rows back. Santa began his sales process about how I may enjoy the seat four rows back and before he could even get into his pitch about the seats that do and don’t recline and whatnot, I told him I’d be happy to trade seats with him. Although I’m finding myself a little bitter towards romance today, I know I would hate to be traveling on a flight across the United States, stuck next to some stranger, with my husband four seats away.

It reminded me of the time Either/Or and I were both traveling back from the west coast on business and although we booked our travel without knowing one another would be in the same place at the same time, we ended up on the same flight in seats next to each other. It was the first time I remember feeling that I odd feeling that resembled something like love for him. I say this because on that trip I was number one on the upgrade list with nine seats unassigned (in frequent flyer speak, that equals guaranteed upgrade) and I gave the upgrade up because I’d rather be miserable in coach for six hours next to him than be semi-comfortable in first class knowing he was less than ten rows back and I wasn’t with him.

Anyways (again I digress), I had just settled into my second seat when the stewardess came back looking for the gentleman, or should I say, Santa. I told her that he was seated in my seat and she could find him in 12B. As I began reading my new book, Santa came back to my seat to thank me again for switching seats and to tell me that some good deeds are quickly rewarded because he had been upgraded to first class and his wife had not, so my new seat was 1C. That, my friends, is a perfect example of karma. The sweet couple got to sit together and I got to drown away my romantic bitterness with the Napa wine tasting they just finished serving after three hours...I’m surprised I can still type. This trip may be just what the doctor ordered.

Dear Larry,

Since I think you read my blog more often than you check email, I figured I'd write you a note. I feel like I haven't seen you in weeks. I'm still trapped in this freezing conference room working on really boring stuff.

How are things up your way? Anything new and exciting going on? Please come visit soon. I need to be entertained.

Your friend,
Weezie

PS - MUPP is back in town. We really should have toilet papered his space when we had the chance. Be nice to him - he can't help the fact that he is only slightly smarter than a cocker spaniel.

Celeb Spotting

Since I moved to NYC, I've been pretty lucky on the celebrity spotting front. I've bumped into (literally) Matt Damon at the gym and had conversations with (as in more than 5 minutes of) Stephen Malkmus, Tina Fey, and Drew Barrymore. But only the Malkmus encounter comes close to this morning's celebrity spotting. I passed Vince Vaughn on the sidewalk. I didn't bump into him and I didn't talk to him, but he was very close. If I could adore him more (he is already number one on my top five celebrity crush list), I would now because he is MUCH cuter in person. I'm taking it as a sign that today won't suck, because yesterday sucked and Monday REALLY sucked.

The Big Picture

This weekend was on of the all-time worst. It kicked into low-gear on Friday with a company picnic. I have some of the world’s coolest co-workers. But as much as I like to hang with most of them, I’m extremely overworked and I’ve got too much to do to spend the day out of the office at a company picnic. But, it wasn’t an opt-out situation and there were decent activities and fried chicken involved, so I decided to make the best of it. However, making the best of it became impossible when I woke up Friday morning to a forecast calling for 100 percent chance of rain, with a flood-warning in effect, and a temperature that wasn’t supposed to reach 65. We still went and there were no indoor facilities at the picnic site.

However, there was a covered pavilion with picnic tables and a slue of board games provided by HR for entertainment. Most of the crew played games, while myself and three others decided to entertain ourselves by attempting to trump one another’s complaints. At one point, I offered one of them everything in my messenger bag if she would kindly put me out of my misery by holding the plastic poncho I was wearing around my head as I attempted to breathe deeply. She didn’t take me up on it. It wasn’t because she was avoiding a possible murder charge. She declined my offer because she wasn’t interested in anything in my bag. I don’t know why. The contents included: a new pack of Orbit gum (the new citrus flavor…quite tasty!) a gameboy, the latest copy of Internet Retailer magazine, my cell phone, my sidekick, my wallet and the keys to my apartment. Her loss - she wasn’t thinking big picture. Taking the bag would’ve given her access to all of my belongings and she could have held one hell of a yard sale. Lesson learned: always think about the big picture when making an important decision.

This leads me to the next part of my weekend that sucked…I had my final falling out with Either/Or. I know I said this weeks ago, but things are finally finished with him. D-O-N-E! I’ve been dragging out the “cutting the ties” conversation, because since we had our last “d-o-n-e” conversation, things have been really great between us. However, in looking at the big picture, I realized by letting things continue as is, I’d never move on and would quite possibly miss my chance to see where things would go with NB. The last time this happened, I wasn’t thinking about the big picture and I let Either/Or worm his way back into my life. But, now I’m all about the big picture…what hurts in the short term will pay off on the long run.

For once, I’m glad the weekend is over.

R&R

This weekend was just what the doctor ordered…lots of quality time with my friends and the new boy (NB). Needing some long awaited rest and relaxation, we spent three days sleeping, eating, drinking, shopping, and sunning. The holiday weekend culminated yesterday with activities involving a picnic in the park with a view of one of my all-time favorite bands, corndogs, margaritas, and a roof-top view of the fireworks.

Weekend Update

The highlight of this weekend doesn't involve shoes, boys, or bands. My favorite part of the weekend was riding a bike for the first time in years. It was really fun, despite the fact that it was a billion degrees outside. “Either/Or” and I took his bike to Central Park, rented a bike for me and rode around the loop. Then we decided to leave the park and take a trip down the Westside to the G.W. bridge. I had such a good time that I’m thinking of getting a bike of my own. I’ve been thinking all weekend about my new bike and I’ve got a clear image in mind of what I want. It will be silver or black with a black wicker basket on the front (for one day transporting my cute, little dog) and a pink horn. The only tricky part of the purchase is finding a helmet that is functional, yet fashionable.

Either/Or

I rarely call anyone I’m dating by their real name when talking about them; I just refer to them as “Boy.” And when we are no longer dating, they always get a nickname for future reference. For example, the “Boy” of 2004 was promptly named “He Who” short for “He who should not be named - EVER” shortly after we severed ties. The one before him went from “Boy” to “Wig” because of his out-of-control hair. One of my work friends came up with the perfect name for the one whom, until recently, was called “Boy.” He has now been named “Either/Or” which is short for “Either he is your ‘Boy’ or he’s not, Weezie!”

Pure genius!

Falling down

I am a lot of things...graceful isn't one of them. Seriously, I can fall down just standing there. For instance, this morning (during rush hour) I tripped over my own two feet and completed a nice face plant in the middle of Grand Central Station at 9:00 in the morning. Thank goodness nobody saw it. Uh - kidding...everyone saw it. I think there was even a second or two when everyone halted and stopped breathing because it felt sooo quiet in the middle of the atrium.

I'm so used to the falling bit that I stopped getting embarrassed a long time ago. I think the last time I was truly embarrassed by a fall was my junior year in college when I fell down a flight of stairs at Jacksonville Landing after the GA/FL football game...it was a bad fall. My skirt flew up, I broke the heel of one shoe and fractured my arm in three places.

Anyway, the only thing that really irritated me was I was donning a new pair of pants that I'd been waiting for weeks to wear, saving them for something important...like a third date with a cute boy. I ended up having to buy another pair of pants at lunch due to the large dirt spot left by the floor. And then the shoes I was wearing didn't really match, so I was forced to buy another pair of shoes...being a klutz is freaking expensive.

Modest Mouse

Modest Mouse played last night at the Summerstage in Central Park. It was an okay show. I got to hang with two of my favorite people in town, but the performance left something to be desired. First of all, it just wasn’t a good venue for them. Second, why do they have two drummers? The percussions aren’t that complicated. Do they not realize that one bad drummer plus an average drummer does not equal one good drummer?

I Heart MR

So, once again, it has been way too long since I’ve written anything because work is still crazy busy. My relationship is now non-existent – which frees up some time, but ending it has taken most of my energy. And, on top of that, I’ve been really sick.

Needless to say, I don’t have much to speak out about…except that last night Mo Rocca had a piece on “The Tonight Show” and it was too funny. Basically, it was a very witty “mockumentary” about Superman filmed in Metropolis. First of all, anything that Mo Rocca does is usually very funny, but he also found a way to incorporate the Dukes of Hazzard and the General Lee, which he jumped into a la Bo and Luke Duke style (which for the kids that didn’t a) live in america or b) didn’t have a TV means via the window, into the piece. He ended the whole thing eating a corndog – which we know I love. It made for a great end to my less than great day.

Yes - pathetic as it may be, that’s all I got.

“Backstreet’s back all-right”…

For the past two weeks, I’ve been pretty much consumed by an overwhelming amount of work and my highly entertaining, but utterly frustrating love life. Since I try not to write much about either subject, I haven’t had much to say. But, even though work is tough and I’m in relationship limbo, Weezie is still smiling because it is summer, I live in NYC, and my iPod is loaded (and will be loaded) with great new tunes. I’m so freakin’ excited about all the great albums that have just come out or are being released soon. Who’s with me?

I just finished listening to round one of the new Stephen Malkmus album and, in my opinion (although VERY biased), it is great. I’m bummed that I’ll miss his show next week, but at least the tickets will be put to good use, especially if ALK takes a cute boy with her.

So, in addition to the new SM & the Jicks album, I think the Beck album = great; Ben Folds = great; Doves = great; Spoon = good; Dave Mathews = good (which is big b/c I’m not much of a DMB fan). I haven’t heard the new Audioslave album yet, but it can’t suck and Weezer’s new album has to at least be better than their DVD which was excruciating to watch. I’m anxiously awaiting the new Bright Eyes single, along with the White Stripes and Coldplay albums, but I am just going to assume they will also = great. All of that and Nick Carter and friends are back in business...who wouldn’t be excited?

grumpy smurf speaks out (part deux)

I'm totally grumpy again today. I can now add the following reasons to yesterday's small list of reasons for my grumpy mood:

1. I gained another 107 pounds last night, so you can imagine how comfortable I am right now and how much I HATE what I'm wearing.
2. I had someone on my team change her vacation around so we could attend a conference in two weeks that sold out about 10 minutes before I tried to register.
3. I am more than likely not going to be able to go to Hawaii as planned this summer due to work.
4. My air conditioning in my apartment is busted and my landlord told me that according to my lease, they don't fix the air. That, plus the fact that my tub is still clogging up
5. I was stung by a wasp at lunch - on the side of my neck - which is now the size of Alaska.
6. i still hate my haircut.
7. I simply want to cry at my desk for all of the reasons listed above especially one, three, and five.

grumpy smurf speaks out

Today is definitely a Monday and on this particular Monday, I am definitely playing the role of Grumpy Smurf. I can’t exactly pinpoint why I’m so grumpy. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I really didn’t get much sleep this weekend and it wasn’t because I was doing anything fun. It could be due to the fact that I had a spa day planned today, but had to be at work because my boss is out and we can’t both be gone without the world coming to an end. Or maybe I’m grumpy because I somehow gained 107 pounds overnight. Seriously I’ve had this feeling all day that I’m pushing Sumo-size and could very well be shaking the ground as I walk. And I really don’t like what I’m wearing today and I think I’m done with my haircut and I’m definitely over bicyclists in Manhattan that don’t obey traffic rules and I’m sorry it took me 7 minutes longer than usual to decide what toppings I wanted on the salad I eat every day for lunch, but I can’t help the fact that I couldn’t decide if I wanted tuna or salmon.

In order to make sure my grumpiness doesn’t rub off on my co-workers, I’ve decided I’ll spend the rest of the day quietly playing Gameboy at my desk.

This week's most popular sites

5. http://www.cootersplace.com/
A discussion with a co-worker about the Dukes of Hazzard prompted me to research a fact or two about Cooter. Google led me here where I entertained myself for way too long and actually made a purchase.

4. http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/26DougErickson.html
McSweeney’s is a regularly visited site because it’s guaranteed I’ll find a list that makes me laugh out loud for days. This list is my favorite because it’s about time someone took the time to point out how lame these lyrics were…I should know since I have every word burned into my mind and if I speak them aloud, without the beats V. Ice ripped off from Queen in the background, it sounds ridiculous.

3. http://members.cox.net/ladysarakat/piggy.swf
This made me laugh more and more every single time I clicked the pig. It still makes me laugh over and over again.

2. http://www.rankortank.com/zzz.htm
This jewel of a site was sent to me by a dear friend who knew I needed a pick-me-up one day last week. I don’t think I need an explanation as to why I can visit this page again and again.

1. http://swannydoestaiwan2005.blogspot.com/
I’m eagerly awaiting updates on my friend’s trip to Taiwan and I love this site for two reasons. One - because I can be assured he’s doing okay when he makes an update. Two – his writing is very entertaining and the stories he shares about conversations with his grandfather are amazing and inspirational.
*Bonus = the fact that I basically forced him to start this blog and its existence proves that enough nagging will make someone do anything.

I want to be Beck's summer girl

I finally got the new Beck album loaded on my iPod and like most of his albums, it has taken me a listen or two to like it. Now, I LOVE it. In fact, today I caught myself walking with a little skip in my step like I was the star of the video for the "Girl" track. I'm not sure if it is because the song is just that great, or because the electronica intro is so catchy, or because the sun is shining and I'm wearing my new and very, very lovely spring skirt, but I was so into it that I seriously considered dancing at the crosswalk on the way into the office.

Anyway, I know they just wrapped up production on the video and I'm wondering if it will turn out to be anything like what I've imagined in my mind...starring someone that looks like me wearing a flowered skirt and dark sunglasses dancing in the crosswalk on the way to work. Suddenly, she makes a detour, grabs the cute boy standing next to her in the street and heads to the park to eat corn dogs and Mr. Softee, while lounging and day dreaming all day in the sun.

I'm guessing the video won't turn out as pleasant as I've wished, seeming as the lyrics to the song are actually pretty dark. But a girl can dream, right. Now, I really want a corn dog.

PS - in my imaginary video, my legs were very tan...seriously, I took my dark sunglasses off for a quick second and made the mistake of looking down, catching a glimpse of my pasty white legs...am losing sight in my right eye as we speak.

Question for an accountant...

Over the past few days I've been doing a lot of assessment of online stores. I mean, as an ecommerce professional, I must be up-to-date on the best practices in the industry. This has forced me to look closely at online shopping sites, take note of their merchandising strategies, evaluate the shopping experience, and audit their check-out process. In order to get a firm understanding of these best practices, I've been forced to browse, shop, and purchase at a number of sites.

This brings me to my question...since I've technically been making these purchases as part of professional research, can I create a $2000 line item on next year's tax return marked "professional research?"

The Pain of Beauty

Everyone has those days. You know the ones where you walk out of your house and catch a glimpse of yourself in the reflection of a storefront window and you think, “Man, I look good today.” Well, today is one of those days for me. Having a very pivotal date (and by that i mean, we've been out enough times that the "define the relationship" talk is coming up - not pivotal in terms of what gutter-minded readers may be thinking) with the new boy and a busy work schedule, I was forced to don the work-to-date attire, which you ladies know can prove quite challenging. With precision, I selected an outfit that is work appropriate and, with the removal of the short jacket and a change in earrings, is a hot number that will turn heads.

There is one not-so-perfect thing about my outfit; the hot little strappy heels I selected are already killing my feet. However, like a true fashionista, I will sacrifice comfort for beauty. I made a new discovery - If you walk, all sexy-like, with a slight shake of your tailfeather, you forget your feet are killing you. It also helps to listen to “No Scrubs” on repeat, which can relieve all pain – physical and emotional. In fact, I’ve decided I love the song so much; I’m going to write my own version. Be on the lookout for the "No Scrubs remixx."

Why I love my job…

5. I love to travel to Japan and I really LOVE to shop. Well, now I get to travel to the far east to SHOP for toys and trinkets and someone else is paying for it.
4. We watch The Simpsons everyday at lunch. No explanation needed.
3. Working for a Japanese company rocks. One, I get to practice my Japanese with my co-workers. Second, translating slogans and taglines from Japanese to English is highly entertaining on a weekly basis.
2. Who wouldn’t love working for a company that peddles cartoon and video games?
1. Dudes LOVE the fact that I work for a company that peddles cartoons and video games. I’ve been asked out four times in two weeks after engaging in delightful conversation struck up by the fact that I was playing my new gameboy to learn the games on my commute. And this weekend, I found myself at a party, feeling like Scarlett at the Wilkes' bar-b-que, surrounded by boys hanging on my every word. As soon as any male found out where I worked, it seemed to raise my cool points significantly. While I'm sure I can stand on my own without the cool job, I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t enjoy the attention. I know I’m digging it.

Fleeting moment...

Some cute dude in the elevator just said to me, "nice bag, marc jacobs, right?" At first I thought we were going to get married (or at least make out), because you have to marry (or randomly make out with) any man that has an eye for handbags. Unless, of course, he is gay; in that case, you instantly become friends and he is destined to be your new gay boyfriend.

So, to determine his team preference, I coyly smiled, complimented his designer recognition skills, and then inquired about the nature of his acquisition of such rare skills...totally straight and, of course, his wife works for M.J. and "has a closet full of them". I'll bet she is super skinny and eats only chocolate all day, too.

hey ya'll - we gonna get it right herre...

...it's the reMIXX.

Today is my last day at my current job. I only have four hours until I blow this popsicle stand and head to happy hour for celebratory beverages. Some of my favorite co-workers took me out for lunch where I enjoyed a cocktail that has left me at my desk with a slight buzz...no surprise since it was Hennesey and Hyponotic. Chingy would be proud!

Sorry iTunes

OK – so I have to totally apologize to iTunes. After working my way through four iPods in two weeks, blaming iTunes 4.7.1 for the demise of each one, I came to a stark realization. When an Apple genius handed me my fourth device, which I’ve named Bessie (with the hope that she’ll survive like a good ole’ Bessie should), she reminded me to keep Bessie away from speakers, metal, and magnets because these things, especially metal and magnets, would erase the hard drive. “Uh, duh – of course, I would never so such a thing,” I replied, reaching for my handbag.

Visual Interlude
Please visit this site - http://www.neimanmarcus.com/store/catalog/prod.jhtml?itemId=prod17060082&parentId=cat5010737&masterId=cat5010735&index=8&cmCat=

Now, view photo of said handbag and notice the front pocket. This is where I keep my iPod. Yes, you are seeing correctly, right in the pocket with a large metal buckle and magnetic clasp.

Back to the story
Isn’t the bag beautiful? It was purchased about two days before Kid Sister kicked it. I'm so sorry iTunes. I take back all off the nasty things I've said about you over the last few weeks. And to Kid Sister and Leon - I'm humiliated and so very sorry to have put you in harm's way...

Hope

“An emotional tsunami is a devastating occurrence. It hits you out of nowhere, washing away your sense of balance, destroying everything it touches, taking with it everything you know to be true and good and honest. You crash with the wave, physically swept away only to return to land to face the challenge of cleaning up the wreckage and rebuilding.”

These words were written in my journal dated a year ago today, after what I hope will be the worst personal experience I encounter, when I felt like my entire life had fallen apart. It is ironic that today, a year after this was written; I feel that for the first time in my life, everything is finally coming together. I’ve realized who I am, I know where I’m going, and I’ve found hope.

It's about time...

...that Carolina didn't choke at the big dance. I'm so excited I can't even sit still. Way to go boys! Sean May is without a doubt one of the greatest college bball players of all time. Today is a beautiful day.

iTunes 4.7.1 killed Kid Sister

I don't go anywhere without my iPod...hence why I named it "Kid sister," after the female version of "my buddy." For those of you that are old enough to remember the commercials - you understand..."wherever I go, she goes...kid sister and me." (Btw- I totally stole that from ALK b/c she calls her my buddy.) Anyway, understanding my attachment to Kid Sister, anyone can imagine how distressed I became when Kid Sister fell ill about a week ago. Here are the events that lead to her illness and unfortunate death:

1. I tried to buy beck's new album from itunes. In order to purchase, itunes made me upgrade to the new version.
2. In order to sync Kid Sister, to listen to new beck album, I had to download and run the new ipod software b/c it wasn't compatible with the new itunes.
3. Installing new ipod update took all day because it kept crapping out...then it crashed my machine. Unfortunately, Kid Sister was connected at time of crash with "do not disconnect" blinking at me. For future reference, when a machine crashes and restarts, the ipod thinks you have disobeyed it and it has been disconnected and…freaks out!
4. So, Kid Sister started doing crazy, crazy stuff and crashed, displaying the folder/triangle/exclamation point symbol which means - your ipod is jacked up.
5. I called the apple service number - but my 3 months phone service privilege has expired and in order to receive phone support, I have to pay $65. This is annoying and it seems a little ridiculous, almost as ridiculous as the $40 earphones I bought in December totally breaking two months later. (It isn't apple's fault that I had to buy them b/c my tiny ears are too small for the ones that came with the ipod, but COME ON $40 for earphones that die after a few months.)
6. Anyway, I was told by the “expensive phone consultant” that I need to go into the store and they can help me. So that afternoon, I head down to the Apple store only to find that you must make an appointment, which you can only do for the same day and all of the spots tend to fill up within an hour of the store opening…which meant I was going to have to get there early…
7. So, next day I show up at the store at 9:00 (it opens at 9:30) and am the 11th person in line to make an appointment. I put my name on the list and finally get to discuss my issue with a “genius” at the “genius bar” about an hour and a half later. After four and a half hours, the geniuses just decided to put Kid Sister to rest, give me a new ipod (now named Leon), and sent me on my way.
8. After about two hours, I’d gotten most of the songs back in place – EXCEPT the new Beck album. For some reason, it wouldn’t load. So, I reconnected to itunes to update Leon and guess what???? Exactly – return to number 2.

I spent most of the day yesterday trying everything I could think of to fix the problem and I think I’m almost there, but of course, itunes crapped out the last time I tried to update my songs…am going to figure this out…might need some help…am currently searching for someone who understands PCs, technology, itunes, and ipod and knows how desperate one feels after being alive for 4 entire days with no working ipod…am having trouble breathing.