Tuesday, May 01, 2007


Homepage flash banner reads:

"Outsource your: Research, Moving, Chores, Reservations...Life"

This is brilliant. It is basically a site for busy (or lazy) people to have other people bid on tasks that they want done. I signed up just to check it out and some of the tasks I’ve seen so far are:

Healthy Cooking: “The task is cooking for two people. We have a large kitchen with all necessary implements except for a dishwasher. The diet is basically defined as "healthy." We can talk specific recipes with someone interested. The location is corner of Grand and Forsyth in Manhattan. Less than a block from B/D trains. You would be responsible for groceries and receipts. Obviously, we reimburse you.”
Find my adopted brother: “My Mother had a child 5 years before I was born w/ someone other than my father. All I know is that he was born in December of 1979, and his name was Randall William Card, but I don't know if he was put up for adoption, and what his name was changed to if he was adopted.”
Dog Retail Store List: “I am about to launch a fun dog community website for dog lovers. I am seeking someone that can gather a list of all the dog retail stores in the 50 states. I need the list to be sorted to each state and into two categories: upscale and regular.”
Find a place that sells ketchup chips: “If you can find out where I can buy Ketchup Chips within a 30 minute drive of 94043, I'll pay you $10. I'll pay you after I have eaten the delicious Canadian chips. I'm only interested in Lay's or Old Dutch ketchup chips, like these:

These are the tasks I would have people do for me:

Buy stamps: My rent is almost always late. Why? Because I HATE to buy stamps. And when I buy them, I lose them. Which means I have to buy them again, which I hate doing.
Organize my storage unit: My storage unit is a mess to say the least. I hate going to the storage unit (which is only two blocks away from my apartment) and I hate it even more now that it is such a disaster. After carefully packing my winter coats in proper hanging bags for storage, I ended up cramming them into the unit and quickly slamming the door because I didn’t have the patience/interest to move things around to make room for them on the hanging rack.
Repairs: I need someone to send my watch back to Marc Jacobs so he can personally fix the leather that ripped. And my suitcase has been sitting in the corner of my room for four months since Delta tore off three of the four wheels. So I need someone to take it to the Samsonite repair location. But before it can be dropped off, I also need someone to call the repair shop and ask them what type of documentation one needs before dropping an item off for repair.
Apartment Decor: I need someone to hang the antique mirror I’ve had for 10 years and never hung. But before they can do that, they need to help me decide where to hang it. I can’t make that decision without determining what piece of furniture I want to go on the same wall where I want it to hang. I also need someone to wait at home for my new bed to be delivered because none of the available times work for me.
Laundry: I don’t need anyone to do my laundry. But after I wash my clothes and put them in the dryer, I have a horrible habit of letting them sit there…in the basement of my building…sometimes for up to three days. Likewise, I have no problem dropping my clothes off at the dry cleaner, but am so bad about actually picking them up…I’m expecting to see one of the homeless people sporting my ski jacket around the hood.
Anti-stalking measurements: I really need someone to call t-mobile and have a few phone numbers blocked. And then plan a fake going away party so my ex thinks I’ve already moved to San Fran.

1 comment:

Lady J said...

So I'm sitting at work wishing I had a lackey to do some of my work and Weezie sends me this link for DoMyStuff.com. I think it's a great idea and am angry that I didn't think of it first (except I would have called it Rent-a-Biatch). So here's MY list of things I would have my "personal ASSistant" do:

Cleaning: I have beautiful wood floors on the main floor of my condo thanks to the previous owners. However, I washed my rugs WEEKS ago and won't put them back until I properly clean the floors after the winter solstice of snow, salt, etc. The only thing is I hate mopping and housework in general. So yeah, almost 2 months, no rugs, no mopping. $25.

Gardening: So this is my first house and while it's a condo, I have a little yard space in the front and on my back deck (which is really cool by the way). The only problem is my thumb isn't green at all and last year when I was trying to kill weeds, I inadvertently sprayed the weedkiller (which I thought only killed WEEDS) on my flowers too and everything died. They also have to remove the two planters in the front yard (that the idiot painters broke last summer and tried to hide and I was never reimbursed for) and replace them. I would have done it except I wasn't going to play $50 a piece for planters and then pay for flowers and buy dirt on top of that. WHO PAYS FOR DIRT??? You buy the planters and I'll buy the beer.

Appliance Repair: My dryer has been trippin for the last 3 months. I have a home warranty but I could find every paper related to the purchase of my home except the warranty information. It took me two months to email my realtor to get it from him. He sent it to me the next day and it's been 9 days and I still haven't called. I need my rental biatch to set up an appointment, be home when they get here, pay the deductable and any subsequent repairs, then finish the laundry that's sitting on top of the washer. $20. If you fold and put it away that's an extra $20.

Social Agenda: My dating life sucks. I need a personal assistant to find an educated man (not like the man who works at the Wendy's drive-thru like the fool that hit on me this weekend), who's honest (not like the man I dated a year ago who had a fiancee), that is genuinely interested in me (not like the man I'm entertaining now who only likes my hot pants), who will love me forever (not like the man I loved and dated for 10 years, became engaged to only for him to have gotten a chick pregnant on the side), who doesn't try to change me (not like the insecure younger man I dated who had a complex and calls me still like we're friends but gets mad when I call him out for only calling me when he wants something). PRICELESS.