This is my meanest face...

Originally uploaded by SixFive.

...and me without make-up...scary, i know!

So, i don't remember this, but it seems like I'm really mad at Grellan. He is holding my water but I don't think that would justify me giving him the meanest look ever!

Ok - I know I promised an Adult Camp update...next week for sure.

ps - i think this photo was taken between 3:00 & 4:00 AM. not an excuse for how gross i look, but I felt the need to clarify.

Sarah-gives-Grellen-a-talki

Sarah-gives-Grellen-a-talki
Originally uploaded by Moto Pony.

I pulled this from Su's flickr page. It looks like Grellan and I are having a super serious conversation. But serious conversations don't happen at Adult Camp...or between me and Grellan...ever!

By the Way - the Adult Camp update is coming tomorrow...I promise!

Where are they now?

A conversation with CAS at dinner last night led us down a path where no one should go. It all started with CAS complaining about her dating life. She looked at me and said, "I think I peaked too soon. I'm like the middle child from Full House that was really cute for awhile, but now she's a meth addict with nothing left but Christmas Cards from Bob Saget and Dave Coulier. John Stamos doesn't even write anymore.”

This cracked us both up and led us to ponder what Jodie Sweetin’s (aka Stephanie) latest diary entry might look like. Here is what I can remember from our conversation:

Dear Diary,

It’s been so long since I’ve written, but I haven’t had the time to write. No, I haven’t been working...I can’t even find work. Between the Weight Watchers and the NA meetings, I can’t find the time to even meet with my agent about work. Oh wait, my agent dumped me years ago. I just don’t get it. Everyone else is successful. I mean Candace has a beautiful family and seems happy when I see her pictures in People. I’m sure it has something to do with Kirk finding Jesus and all of the blessings he’s now reaping are spilling over to her. And the Olsen twins…of course they’re successful. There are two of them AND they’re skinny. I’m just so depressed I can barely get up in the mornings. The only light in my life is seeing Andrea Barber (aka Kimmy Gibbler) in the unemployment line.

Love,
Jodie

By the way, it should be noted that I hate Full House. I've always said my own personal hell would be a place where only Full House played 24/7 on the TV, the Goo Goo Dolls were the only band on the radio, and there were no shoes, iPods, or Internet access.

Meet my new babies...

Kewana &
Lily

Aren't they beautiful and perfect and sweet? I picked them up yesterday at the Rafe sample sale. So, not only do i now own two of the most delightful handbags in the city, I only paid $275 for both of them.

Today is one of those days when I really love the perks that come with living in New York! It made me forget about the fact that just this morning I'd decided that New York might be a bad influence on me...seeming as I called someone a jack-ass before 8:00 AM and got into a shoving match with a short girl who pushed me while getting on the F Train. I guess the perks of living here outweigh the city's ability to slowly suck away my southern charm.

Rockelle

rachel_sarah
Originally uploaded by sarahmcsimmons.

It's rare that you meet someone and become instant friends...but it happened to me while I was away...twice in one day. This is Rockelle. We met April 26th in a boring roundtable discussion at a conference, on April 27th we became best of friends, on April 28th we hung out all day and found ourselves asking how we'd survived so long without each other. She's one of the main reasons why summer in the city has been way too much fun thus far and has agreed to be my partner in crime for troublemaking. I've been needing a good partner in crime, so it all works out perfectly...except for one fatal flaw.

Flaw = Rockelle is convinced that she's moving to San Fran this fall. Now San Fran is great - one of my favorite cities. But it is missing one important thing - yours truly. So, I'm going to need a plan for keeping her here. She seems pretty serious about moving and since I'm serious about keeping her here, I'm going to need some help. I need to find her a man and a job in NYC and she'll be sure to stick around. She prefers tall, dark, good looking men and is interested in Internet Marketing positions. If anyone knows about the availability of either, shoot me a message at weeziespeaksout@gmail.com.

Thanks in advance!

Weezie is back

I honestly can’t believe March was the last time I posted. Things have been nuts over the last few months and I’ve been dying to write, but I couldn’t find the time or the energy. Life has definitely kept me on my toes. So, with that being said, I’ll recap April, May, and June (so far) with the Hot-List. Please note items marked with * need (and will receive) further explanation. Here you go:

Highlights:
Rockelle*, finding my doppleganger*, The New Girl*, super fun weddings, my new shoes, Adult Camp*, summer in NYC, Mack* – the new puppy, my sister getting engaged, having the best friends ever.

Lowlights:
Either/Or taking permanent residence on the “On Notice” list, work stress, the deaths of my dog, a dear friend I just saw and an old friend with whom I’d lost contact, too much traveling*, not having balance*

Spotlight:
My debut karaoke performance of Gold-Digger after LAG’s wedding…it was amazing and caught on video!!!*

Crazy work story:
I guess the craziest thing that has happened at work is that I got in trouble for not spending enough time playing video games. I’m serious…I’ve got an email to prove it, but it is too ridic to even explain.

What I’m listening to:
Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins

Hot List - catching up

It has been way too long since Weezie last spoke, but (as usual) I've been crazy busy at work and traveling and trying to be a NYC social star. I haven't had a night without evening plans since February 22nd and am in the same situation for the next two weeks. Then I'm putting a halt to this madness and making sure that I allow myself some downtime to a) rest, b) update my blog, c) rest some more to avoid explosion. Anyway, back to the topic at hand - here's what you missed in the past month.

Highlights:
No Data Dance Party, sunning in Miami (more on this later), catching up with friends in Atlanta, the Strokes, Belle & Sebastian, and many late nights out on the town.

Lowlights:
NYC Winters, getting the shaft at The Daily Show (more on this later), spraining my back (more on this later), and Either/Or - who has officially been put "ON NOTICE."

Spotlight:
Celebrity Spotting of the Year = Prince at Mansion in South Beach - btw, how did I not know he was 4 feet tall and no more than 90 pounds???

Crazy work story:
Check this out - http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=111108 - a bunch of nerd prom kings and queens are all up in arms because we MIGHT be changing the voice talent on the cartoon.

What I’m listening to:
I’m still hooked on the Bright Eyes album, but the Coldplay X&Y album has spent its fair amount of time in the rotation.

So, there you have it. Not really as exciting as I'd hoped. But, I've this is just a list and I've left the best stories untold. I'll get to it this week...hopefully.

Clothing Crisis

It’s Friday. I’ve been at work since 9:00. Everything I’m working on right now is at a stand still because I’m waiting on someone else to do their part so I can finish. I’m bored and all I can think about is what on earth I’m going to wear tonight. I’ve got a date with a boy that is in mid-transition from “just a friend” to “possibly more than friend” status. This kid has seen me in a bathing suit (gross! but points for him for wanting to take me out anyway), but you always want to look your best for the first official mid-transition date, right? Here is the challenge I'm facing.

Two of my favorite (read “sexy and comfortable”) pairs of shoes are being re-soled right now and won’t be ready until tomorrow and I think tonight’s main activity will include a lot of standing. Thus, I’m left with the “sexy heels or comfortable flats” decision. It is really cold outside and everyone knows that layers are very unattractive, but I really don’t want to freeze because I’m trying not to look like a stay-puff marshmallow. Someone scheduled a late afternoon meeting (6:00 on a FRIDAY!!!!!) which I have to attend. This sucks because obviously no one wants to meet that late on a Friday. But more importantly, I really need to have my eyebrows done, as I just realized I’m starting to look a little bit like Oscar the Grouch. Finally, I hate everything in my closet. There are items from which I've yet to remove the tags that I’m sick of because I’m just tired of looking at them. So all I can do now is sit and wait for the 6:00 meeting and think about how I’m going to solve these problems before 8:00 this evening.

The only good thing I've got going for me right now is my hair looks really good today.

It's been a few weeks but...

I haven’t written in a while because I’ve been swamped at work and my social calendar has been booked. I’m glad it is Friday. It’s been a hell of a week. I haven’t eaten a real meal since Wednesday and I’m so hung over from last night’s social outing that I can barely hold up my own head. I don’t know who thought it was a good idea to stay out past 3 AM on a school night. But, somewhere between work and home yesterday, I signed up for a big night out on the town. Anyway, here’s the latest HOT LIST.

Highlights:
25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, getting new curtains in my bedroom, and all of the things “Either/Or” said or did that made me laugh

Lowlights:
My dad had surgery, my nana broke her leg, and all of the things that “Either/Or” said or did that made me cry

Spotlight:
Starring as guest DJ at Epsteins last night – in other words, I made a great play-list on my iPod, we shut the jukebox off, and listened to my music all night. I really felt like I owned the place. I’ve been told that I actually went behind the bar and made myself a drink at one point. Being cute and fearless has its privileges.

Crazy work story:
This isn’t really crazy, but we got a sneak peak at the new products for 2007 at Toy Fair last week. Attention Kids: don’t get your hopes up – there’s nothing coming worth getting excited about.

What I’m listening to:
I’m constantly playing either the Death Cab or the Bright Eyes albums with a short break for Gold Digger every once in a while.

randomness...

...is how I would describe my day so far. I can’t seem to concentrate at all and have no drive to get any work done. So, to be consistent with the day, I’ll just rattle off the randomness that is running around in my brain.

- Pink is the new Blog (http://trent.blogspot.com/) has some great material. It is a super way to waste time at work.
- Tina Fey is writing a pilot for a new show starring…you guessed it – Tina Fey. Unfortunately, rumor has it Rachel Dratch will be in the cast for the pilot. Love Tina Fey! Rachel Dratch totally creeps me out.
- I officially have a crush on Kanye West.
- I am pleasantly surprised that I can make it to the Whole Foods at Columbus circle and back with lunch (to go) in 30 minutes.
- Reading about my friend dennis’s crazy life - http://www.teendrama.com/dens/index.php- can also help pass the time at work

That’s all I got. It is finally time to go home.

Hot List - week of Jan. 30

Last week was pretty dull - which I can attribute to a scaled back social calendar due to all of the new year's resolutioning (yes, I just made that word up.) So, the hot list is mildly warm at best.

Highlights:
The STEELERS winning the SuperBowl XL is a highlight that must stand alone.

Lowlights:
Hines Ward being named MVP and using incorrect grammar within two seconds of receiving the trophy, Bettis announcing his retirement (which we all knew was coming, but made me sad to hear out loud), and all of the ad dollars wasted on lame commercials.

Spotlight:
Getting into a verbal battle with some old, balding, overweight dude at the movies on Saturday night was the funniest thing that happened this week. I wrote it out exactly as it happened only to realize that you had to be there to appreciate it. Trust me - it was a classic.

Crazy work story:
Here is some work nonsense for you. I've been working (for weeks) on a long, detailed contract for a deal that needed to close last week. I finally got everything resolved between the vendor's legal department and our legal department. The one sticking point that took me forever (read: five hours) to resolve was the line in the contract that would force us to go to Minnesota if, for some reason (non-payment, breach of contract, etc.), we had to go to court. My legal counsel wasn't worried about all the reasons we could end up in court, she simply didn't want to go to Minnesota. I thought it was because the laws were different, there were jurisdiction issues, or she just wanted to play legal power struggle. Nope - she just thought Minnesota was a cold and awful place and if they had the nerve to sue us or, even worse, had the nerve to do something so horrible that we would sue them, the least they could do was go to court in California where the weather is nice and there are lots of good restaurants. I'm not even kidding. That was the reason she gave me. The contract isn't final yet because we haven't heard back from the vendor's lawyers. They are probably too exhausted from laughing at us.

What I’m listening to:
The new Belle and Sebastian album that was released today, but I got a digital copy when I pre-ordered it from Amazon. I haven't listened to it enough to give it a fair review. I'll let you know next week.

The Colbert Report

If SNL’s weekend update and Meet the Press got married and had a kid, it would come out as The Colbert Report. This is my new favorite show. High five to "Either/Or" for telling me about it. For The Daily Show fans out there, you all know Stephen Colbert. I’d seen him a few times when he was reporting for Jon Stewart and thought he was mildly funny. I was wrong – he is hilarious and I love his show. This man is a southerner (from Charleston – the greatest southern town EVER) and makes a living by making fun of democrats, republicans, and anyone who he finds irritating. Needless to say, he has my dream job.

When something or someone get under his skin, he puts them “on notice” and if they really make him mad then they are “dead to him.” Well, that’s really funny. So, I’ve stolen part of his concept. Isn’t imitation the best form of flattery? Anyway, since I can’t fathom someone making me so irate that they become dead to me, I’m going with the first half and from now on, I’m starting my own “on notice” list. Check it out to the right.

I can’t do the rest of it justice so I suggest you check it out for yourself. Start off with a sneak peak at http://www.colbertnation.com/colbertnatiownon/index.jhtml and then tune your DVR to Comedy Central at 11:30 P.M.

New Year's Resolutions

Everyone makes them and no one sticks to them.

I spent a lot of time working on my resolutions back in December. They included:
- Making time for myself
- Learning something new each month…january’s subject was Economics
- Reconnecting with an old friend each month
- Getting on (and sticking to) a workout schedule
- Not eating chicken fingers more than once a week
- Practicing the 7 habits…
- Becoming more fiscally responsible

It’s a good list, right? I was pretty excited about it. However when 2006 came along, I wasn’t ready to make the move to changing my entire life. So, instead of beating myself up about it, I developed a genius strategy. I’ve decided from here on out, all New Year’s resolutions will go into implementation with the Chinese New Year. That gives me time to detox from the holidays and adjust to January (which is the worst month) in NYC before I begin making big changes in my life. Since the Chinese New Year kicked off last weekend, I’m five days into the 2006 resolutions and I must say that I’m doing quite well…except the workout schedule makes me tired because I have to get up early and learning about Economics makes me feel stupid and reminds me of why I didn’t pay attention in class when I paid to take it. The rest of them are pretty easy to stick with…well, until I spot a super pair of shoes I can’t resist and then the fiscal responsibility resolution will fall by the wayside.

The Hot List

When I play catch up with most of my friends they are interested in three things – my social agenda (most of them are married which leaves them without one and therefore, are living vicariously through me), my latest crazy work story, and what music (new or old) I’m listening to. So, I’ve decided on a weekly basis, I’ll devote one post to these three topics – breezing through the social stuff with a list of highlights/lowlights and one spotlight on something fabulous, ridiculous, spectacular, and/or embarrassing that happened to me or someone I know…yes – this means if you spend any amount of time with me, there is a chance you’ll end up on my blog…although I’ll try my best to keep your identity anonymous.

So, in its first installment, here are the picks of last week:

Social Highlights:
“Business” trip to Atlanta that ended up being more drinking than business. Activities included cocktails at Turner field, drinks at my favorite bar, dinners at my favorite restaurants, a trip to the GA aquarium, listening to great music (more on that later), dancing (see lowlights), catching up with old friends, and laughing harder than I have in weeks.

Social Lowlights:
The lack of sleep acquired from Atlanta trip, getting stuck in verbal prison (more on that later) at the GA aquarium, dancing (realizing I have a serious control issue and am unable to let someone lead…I might have been more apt to let my dance partner lead had he not almost dropped me once), and having to speak in public in front of many people after three nights with no sleep and four nights of serious drinking.

Social Spotlight:
Alright, verbal prison is a term coined by M.D. Everyone has been there – stuck in a conversation with someone while you’re missing out on a great party with no escape in sight. This, my friend, has defined as “verbal prison.” At a party at the GA aquarium, I found myself repeatedly in verbal prison, which I turned into a fun game. Basically, each time I got trapped, I began making up a new story. It was much more fun than one would think. I was in sales for Google, the person who had developed eBay’s bid engine in my dorm room, a reporter for “Wired” magazine, and at least two more identities that I can’t remember. I know – I’m a total dork and this isn’t even a story worthy of the spotlight, but most of the ones that are can’t be repeated…so, at least you learned a new phrase.

Crazy work story:
This week the craziest story I’ve got involves a conversation with a customer and her 5 year old. It lasted 30 minutes longer than it should have. It is nice to know we still have fans out there that are crazy for Pokemon…or maybe they are just crazy. Speaking of crazy fans, the kid in the first link of my last post made it on VH1’s “Best Week Ever” that week. Sweet!


What I’m listening to:
Right now my favorite “real” albums are the Death Cab’s “Plans” and Rogue Wave’s “Descended Like Vultures.” Also getting a lot of play is my homemade, two-disc compilation, made for M.D. and inspired by the best New Year’s trip I can remember, titled “Late Night Indie favorites Disc One and Two” which we probably listened to 100 times last week and if I could take credit for the "Plans" album, I'd make it Disc Three and would be able to claim that I developed the best musical trilogy ever made!

It's that time...

At the beginning of every quarter there are two days in particular I dread. Dreadful Day One (DD1) is the day I have to review my division’s quarterly presentation with the EVP before our quarterly meeting. Dreadful Day Two (DD2) is the day of the meeting and I have to deliver the quarterly presentation to the company.

DD1 is the worst day because I get yelled at (read: berated, humiliated, reamed, threatened, and shamed…Japanese style) for missing my financial targets for the quarter. No matter what we do right, I always get hammered for missing the sales targets (which are unrealistic and were not set by me…or anyone who understands ecommerce) and I walk away feeling like a total failure…even though I know there is no way we could meet these goals on the budget I’ve been given. This quarter’s DD1 was yesterday and went surprisingly well (read: only slightly berated, humiliated, reamed, threatened, and shamed…Japanese style). Maybe it was because I came to the meeting prepared with an argument as to why we were meeting our goals. My number one reason focused on our lack of understanding of our target audience. I simply shared these two links (please copy and paste):

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1976314898516214440&q=pokemon

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7846903799728311485&q=pokemon with Mr. EVP and stated that “we (meaning me) can’t properly market to our target audience because these folks are just too weird for any of us (me) to understand them.” He laughed so hard, I think he forgot about the yelling part.

This quarter’s DD2 is today at 3:00. It isn’t as humiliating as DD1, mainly because no one else really cares and/or listens. It just stinks because it’s a really LONG meeting and the majority of it is super boring…my part in particular. I think I rank up there right behind accounting in terms of “most boring material.” Last quarter, I was lucky enough to go first when people can find it in them to act like they are paying attention. Accounting wasn’t so lucky. During their presentation, I counted five people sleeping – including the CEO who only awakened himself to stop his own head from hitting the conference room table. I’m not even kidding! It was classic. I’m hoping for something even more spectacular today. I’ll keep you posted.

Weekend Dilemma

It’s a good sign when my number one life decision at the moment concerns my weekend plans. I haven’t been in the city (without company or 25 things scheduled) since November – so the party ME wants to hit the town. And there are a bunch of fun things going on where I’d get to see some folks I haven’t hung out with in a while…like months. But, the other part of me is STILL tired from my debaucherous New Years trip and wants to be lazy and rest. The lazy ME wants to finish getting my apartment back into shape and try to see at least two (maybe three) of the movies on my “must see before the Oscars” list. There were 18 movies on the list and I’d planned to see at least ten of them while I was home for Thanksgiving and Christmas (just like I planned to update my blog), but I only managed to knock two off the list and one of them really sucked. So, this leaves me with 16 movies to see in two months – which could be feasible because New York is cold and gross in January and February and I’m not usually up for schlepping around in the cold/wet/snow wearing my good shoes.

I’m too hungry to think about it anymore. So, I’m off to grab lunch. Which leaves me with my number two life decision at the moment – what am I going to eat???

Congrats UT!

I can’t help but be a little melancholy today, since college football season officially ended last night. At least Texas won which will stop all that talk about Mack Brown not being able to win the big games that count. Now that conversation will more than likely involve Mark Richt…and I might have to jump in and agree. I was unfortunate enough to witness the Sugar Bowl debacle live on Monday night. It was disgusting. We were out-coached, out-played, out-cheered…WVU’s band was even better than ours.

Not only am I coping with this piece of reality, but I woke up after only three hours of sleep to a cold, rainy day. I still dread coming into work and can’t seem to get myself excited about my job. It doesn't help that the entire office is in chaos because we are moving into a new space across town tomorrow. Right now this move is a total pain in the neck. However, having just returned from the new space, I’m feeling less grouchy and sad because:
- my new office (with a door that shuts) is much bigger than I’d realized
- cute boys in black wearing secret service earpieces work in the lobby
- there is a salon and a starbucks in the new building
- we get to leave tomorrow at 2:00 so the movers can relocate our stuff
- the sun was shining when I walked back which always makes things better.

I need a vacation from my vacation.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Again…it’s been forever since I’ve posted anything to my blog. I’ve seriously been working non-stop since Thanksgiving. When I wasn’t working through the night, I was hosting or attending some sort of holiday celebration which generated some great material, yet left no time to actually document any of it. I thought for sure I’d make good use of my Christmas vacation to update you all on the past few months and yet I couldn’t even bring myself to turn on my laptop. Unfortunately, I’m back in the office for the first time in two weeks and, therefore, can no longer avoid the connection to that crazy thing we call the Internet. However, I’m still not in “working condition” which is obvious from:

• the lack of excitement, creativity, or (quite frankly) interest this post possesses. I, myself, am even bored by it.
• the fact that I’ve been here for six hours and have yet to bring myself to read more than 100 of my 786 emails or check any of my 19 voicemails…not even the three that are urgent.

I am certain after a few days of detox and a week of good sleep, I'll be back to normal with lots of stories to share.

Questions that need to be answered

1. Has anyone seen Reese Witherspoon's bangs lately? Whaaattttt????? My personal opinion = if the long, feathered bangs are a trend on the rebound, then I'm gonna have to settle for being out-of-style. I caught her on Ellen this week and I couldn't get over it. I can't even remember a word she said because I was too busy gawking at her hair.

2. Does anyone watch Ellen? That show is so freakin' funny. It doesn't matter who she has on the show (minus little miss feather bangs)...I am always entertained. I've been working through the night for two weeks, which has given me a chance to catch up on all everything in my DVR and the problem I've found is I can only watch so much Ellen in one sitting. So, I need some recommendations. If you were me, what would you record. So far, I'm catching:

The Ellen Show...obviously

The West Wing...should win "best writing" Emmy every year

Best Week Ever...duh

Two and a Half Men...tie for funniest show on TV

Arrested Development...other half of tie for funniest show on TV

The Apprentice...both Trump and Martha

Pokemon...obligation

The OC...guilty pleasure

3. Despite the above comment about her bangs, who wants to see Reese in Walk the Line this weekend?

It has been a long time (exactly two months)

Since my last post I’ve:

• been in Hawaii, LA (twice), San Diego, San Francisco, Phoenix, Salt Lake City, Dallas, Atlanta (twice), Columbia (SC), Chicago, Boston, and Macon (GA)
• only had 5 days off of work (including the weekends), but launched 12 of 15 “high priority” projects
• spent more time alone than I thought was humanly possible, realizing that although I missed my friends terribly – there is something rewarding about being comfortable spending time with yourself
• made good use of the phrase “I’ll cut you” until I actually cut myself and ended up with stitches and two weeks without the use of my left hand
• let go of a friendship that became a burden and ended a relationship that broke my heart
• cried and prayed and yelled and cursed more times than I can remember
• finished the short stories I’ve been working on for months two weeks before my computer had a meltdown that I'd been trying to have for weeks
• written all of my very personal hopes and thoughts and fears and concerns and prayers in a journal only to leave it in the front seat pocket of an airplane
• learned that at the end of the day - even if you have the best friends in the world - you can only truly count on yourself, God, and your mama…and most of the time that is all you need

Thanks for all of the notes and comments since I took my sabbatical. It is nice to know people actually read this thing. So, I’m back with a smile on my face and a lot to say about nothing.